Welp, friends. Today is the day... THE day. If you thought the prior weeks, months, years of political discourse were something to write home about- wait until you access your Twitter, Facebook or TV today.
Because it's here- Presidential Election Day! Ah, Election Day- when we celebrate the time-honored, hard-earned, so-very-cherished democratic privilege of voting by bullying, insulting and demeaning anyone who has an opinion opposite of our own. And also pretending that everyone is so stupid for not buying into our opinion because we have all the answers! I mean, duh! While you may think that the person who dropped out of every economics class they ever took was just another person, think again: they are a political expert as evidenced by their constant retweets of Donald Trump and numerous 'Likes' on Eva Longoria's FB page.
But all jokes aside, today is actually the best day to get to know someone- because apparently, everything you need to know about a person can be summed up by who they voted for. So go ahead abroad friends, if you want to get closer to another American blogger (or just see what makes them tick), just ask her who she's voting for and then return here and see my QuickGuide below:
They're voting for Romney: Uneducated. Redneck. Rich. Extremely Religious.
They're voting for Obama: Unemployed. Lazy. Freeloader. Hippie.
|Watching Obama speak in Portland- May 18, 2008|
That's it- that's the only thing you need to know about someone to sum them up! Don't worry about the context of their viewpoints or the experiences in their lives that shape how they see the world: screw that. Democrats are disgusting! Republicans are worthless! Democrats are amazing! Republicans have all the answers!
|Casting my vote- and very excited to be doing so.|
So sit back and enjoy the loveliness that is an American Presidential Election day.
Let the games begin.
*And to my fellow Americans: I don't care who you vote for (my friends are scattered from extreme Left to extreme Right), I just care that you're a kind person- and I mean that.*